Will I once again be able to resist the temptation?
I’d lie I’d denied that the urge is strong
Where else would be a better place to perform an ablation
than in the hospital? This can’t possibly go wrong
Though an unknown factor about the procedure is its duration
Could barely be a second, or perhaps it will take long
There’s no need for any kind of sedation
The tension will leave and the oxytocin will come

Is curiosity in control, or is it me?
Will the murky, red waterfall cover the knee?
There has to be a wound that radiates the same energy
as my ever existing longing from this life to be free
How could there be a god if they simply decide to ignore
my place?
There is no such thing as living when you’re suffering to
this degree
All these years, I’ve only known survival, now I’m almost 23
My birthday wish is to be able to breathe, to be able to just be

Why does everything in my live have to be so extreme?
I’m either exploding from overwhelming emotions, or I’m
completely numb
Indifferent on the outside, while on the inside, there’s a
deafening scream
begging me to snap out of this depersonalisation situation
by getting myself some…
shiny and sharp tweezers, I hope they get the job done
Time to feel alive again in 3, 2, 1…

tekst & foto Roshni Nanhkoesingh


Door ravage